Fake Scars and Broken Wands

What with the so called Muggle World thrilled about seeing the wizard Boy Who Lived(TM) go on conquests for artifacts and what not, it was another Harry altogether who pulled the rabbit out of the hat that ought to have startled not only us lesser mortals but also that “World of Witchcraft and Wizardry”. Yes, including Lord Voldemort.

The stage for England’s “First City Derby” was set with Arsenal seeking to go on top of the League and Spurs seeking their first away victory over the Gunners in over 30 years. The normal “dignified” silence of the posh London crowd was out of the window as they welcomed their local rivals with 2 points behind Chelsea. Within 30 minutes, the home side was 2-0 up. The visitors were apparently under some spell, probably called “Don’t-turn-up-for-the-derby-iosa”. The only immune Spurs player was Gallas. Yes, Spurs player. Captain for the day. Another genius swoosh of the wand from Harry. Redknapp, I mean.

Half-time dawned and during the interval, frantically making what I suspect were phone calls not to his Missus but to the Ministry of Magic(TM) to complain about boys with fake scars and broken wands casting spells on his players, Harry Redknapp must have achieved perfection in getting that long-eared animal out of the hat, for Spurs scored 3 goals after the interval and had their much awaited victory. After the interview with Sky Sports, Wenger was overheard complaining about boys with fake scars and broken wands.

The table-toppers, meanwhile, visited Birmingham, who under Alex McLeish, have a formidable home record. At the end of the 90 minutes, it was 1-0 to Birmingham. Chelsea had suffered their second consecutive loss.

The Birmingham and Tottenham victories gave United a chance to go level on points with Chelsea at the top of the table. United were facing Wigan at Old Trafford where Martinez was trying to be the first Wigan manager to get a point off United – ever. Patience is a key virtue for United at Old Trafford, as it always is. At the stroke of half-time, Evra headed in a superb Park cross and gave United a 1-0 lead. In the second half, Wigan pressed the big, red “self-destruct” button when they got 2 of their players sent off for bad tackles. Nevertheless, a 1-0 lead is never healthy, for slight misfortune or boys with fake scars and broken wands are enough to bring parity. United’s lack of an in-form striker was showing as United were wasteful in front of goal. Even with 11 against 9, United couldn’t find the back of the net which was alarming. Fergie then brought on the cavalry – Scholesy and a certain Wayne Rooney – but the second goal was still elusive. Finally, the Wigan defence gave way to the incessant United pressure and Hernandez scored the 2nd to give United a 2-0 win and send United on top.

As far as United are concerned, this gameweek has been amazing. Still unbeaten in the league and on top of the table, us United fans will be giddy alright. Now if only Liverpool and Citeh don’t win…

The English season’s set then going into the last month of the year. With United facing Arsenal and Chelsea in consecutive games, the next month should be a cracker. Quidditch? No, thanks, not for me. I’d rather a pair of boots and a ball than flying broomsticks seating boys with fake scars and broken wands.

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